Football 101: For the Ladies

Alright ladies, the time of year I know you’ve all been waiting so impatiently for is finally here. Personally, this is my favorite time of year, not because the “pumpkin spiced latte’s” are back, but that I get to see my boys back on the field and play ball. Football can be a very complicated thing to try to grasp while everyone around you is screaming and jumping around so I’m here to help you out. Here’s what you need to know to fool that cute boy into thinking you’re an expert… ; )

1. Offense, Defense, Special Teams oh my!

Okay, back up. First off, you need to pick a team to root for. You should ALWAYS root for your home team (or that cute boy’s favorite team)! Once you’ve picked your team, they’re always either on offense or defense and there’s 11 players on the field. When on offense your team has the ball and is moving toward their end zone in hopes to score. On defense they are trying to avoid letting the other team score but still trying to score themselves. Special teams come out when we are kicking the ball.

2. Points

So obviously the point in the game is to score the most points. There’s a few ways your team can do this. The most obvious way is a touchdown followed by a typical douche-like dance or pose from the player. A touchdown is when your team gets into their end zone by either passing or running the ball, and they score six points. After a touchdown, teams typically kick a field goal which is worth one point. They can also complete a two-point conversion which involves them running or passing the ball back into the end zone in one play. Or, they can kick a field goal instead of trying for a touchdown which alone is worth three points.

3. The Basics

So before anyone can score there’s a lot of running around, passing and tackling all over the place. On offense, your team gets four attempts (AKA downs) to either run or pass the ball at least 10 yards down the field. If they get the ball to that little yellow line (which is only on TV so don’t look for it when he finally decides to take you to a game) then a first down has taken place and their four attempts start all over again. If they fail to earn at least 10 yards with those plays they give the ball to the other team.

BONUS GIRLFRIEND POINTS: When the announcer says something like “3rd and 10” this means it is the third down and they have 10 yards to go to receive a first down. You go, girl.

4. “There’s a flag on the play!”

Now when you hear something like this that means a referee is calling a foul on the play and there’s a little yellow flag somewhere on the field. This can be for a ton of reasons so just listen to what they call. Coaches can challenge a flag and have it reviewed to benefit their team. Which can cause a lot of hoopla but also be very worth it.

5. Is it over yet?

Yes, football games can seem to be never-ending. There are four quarters each 15 minutes long with a 12 minute half time and two-minute breaks between quarters. Which if you have your basic math skills down you know that equals an hour and 16 minutes. The reason they take much longer than that is because of all the plays being stopped, time outs, injuries etc. So just drink another beer and keep on watchin’, sister.

6. Other random girlfriend points you can earn…

Sacks- This is when the quarterback on the offensive team is tackled before the ball leaves his hands. If your team sacks the other teams QB, this is a big deal so start yelling.

Turnovers- When the ball is intercepted or fumbled and the other team gets a hold of it.

Overtime- A game will go into overtime when both teams are tied. 15 minutes are given and if the first team on offense scores a touchdown they win. If not, the other team gets the ball and the chance to score. If no one scores in the 15 minutes the game is considered a tie-game.

Pink jerseys- Just, don’t. Go buy an actual jersey and represent your team.

Personally, I’m tired of girls getting a bad rep for “not understanding sports” or “only liking the cute players”. So hopefully y’all will brush up on your basics and team’s roster and help me out here! Happy football season & go Chiefs! : )

lp

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